Outside the Lines – How to Break the Rules
Tennis, anyone?
I really like the Williams sisters.
It’s not just that Serena and Venus play amazing tennis, even though they do.
Nor is it the fact that they’re best friends, even while being each other’s main rival, which I think is just extraordinary.
It’s the fact that they’re rebels, willing to break the rules.
Put aside for the moment that they’re African-American in a game where such are few and far between. (Put it aside knowing it’s almost the most amazing thing they’ve done and worth a whole article on its own.)
Do you remember when they first showed up with their hair in those funky braids? 
Do you remember some of Serena’s on-court fashion statements, like these ones , and this one and especially this one ?
A simple rule
But the rule breaking I admire most is more subtle than the occasional outrageous outfit. It is about them choosing how and when they showed up at all, and where they put their time and effort. Bear in mind that this is a sport where tennis players are expected to spend most of the year “on the circuit”, where the association prescribes a minimum number of tournaments they have to play and where tennis is meant to be the be all and end all.
The Williams sisters just didn’t accept that they were going to be told how to be successful professional tennis players. They still get resistance about their approach from other players, both men and women. But they’re clear that if they’re going to play tennis, they were going to do it on their terms. This is how an article on Serena puts it:
She … decided to live by a simple rule. When she fell out of love with the game, she’d quit. When she didn’t fancy a tournament, she wouldn’t play. But whenever she did compete, she’d give her all.
When it was a No, it was a No. But by golly, when it was a Yes it was a Big Yes! That’s the focus, courage and commitment that I think opens up Great Work. Can you imagine what would happen if, when you did compete, you’d give your all? Pretty scary-amazing to imagine, no?
So where do you start if you want to break the rules?
Step #1: Know what the rules are
Makes sense, doesn’t it? You have to know the rules before you can break them.
So here’s how to figure out what rules you’re following. Start by jotting down some of the rules others make up for you. There are some obvious things here. The laws of the land. Road rules. Social norms, such as wearing clothes in public.
Now narrow your gaze. Try answering this… “At work, we’re not allowed to…” and write down ten things that are beyond the pale in the place where you work.
What I find is that the first part of this exercise takes me neatly, embarrassingly, into the second, more slippery list of rules – the ones we make up for ourselves.
As you look at that list of things you’re not allowed to do, notice how few of them are in the Corporate Rule Book – and how many are more subtle cues on how we can and cannot behave, what we can and cannot do. Many of them are completely unspoken, many of them are made up by that fierce little policeman we have in our own heads that shuts down options and tells us to behave.
So what are the rules that made your list? Here are some of the ones on mine.
1. I have to return all emails, and do it personally.
2. The default reply to a meeting invitation is Yes.
3. I need to prove to everyone that I’m busy.
4. Once I’ve committed to a date, I can’t renegotiate.
How about you? What rules do you find yourself following? Let me know on the blog.
- New rules of productivity
- One wonders what would happen in a society in which there were no rules (Great Work quote)
- Leo’s Rules of Action
- 10 essential rules for facilitators
- Kevin Carroll, Rules of the Red Rubber Ball
Since I work for myself making art and teaching art, the only corporate rules I have to follow ARE the ones I make for myself and they are lousy, tough ones. (PS- these are also the ones I am planning to break sometime soon).
1. If I volunteer to do something for an organization, I have to do it for the rest of my life (seems like no one can possibly do as well as I), I’m sure!.
2. If I’m working on a piece and it isn’t going well, I have to finish it anyhow.
3. I gotta be good at all the things I’m not good at if I’m going to be a success.
4. I WILL master every form of social networking out there.
Susie
Ach – rule #3, what a killer that is
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I changed my rules when I quit my job as a school teacher.Now I have my own rules,
1.-Never do something I don’t want to
2.-Give my best
3.-Stop doing what is not going well
4.-Never underestimate my work
5.-Ask for help when in need
6.-Never interrupt a friend’s work
I’ll keep my last rule now
Patricia
Love rule #5
Actually, I think the Williams sisters are pretty bad examples of breaking the rules. It all depends upon what rules you’re looking at, and how you regard them, but my impression is that in terms of their upbringing they are absolutely conforming and not breaking any rules at all. It seems that their family decided on their vocation, their family trained them, and their family decided that they would be successful… and they have conformed to those rules absolutely and continue to do so. Sometimes chid prodigies are driven by some desire within themselves, but I think anyone who achieves unusual success before the age of 16 is more likely to have been driven by their parents than anything internal.
It all depends upon whether you think being the best in a particular area is definitely A Good Thing, even if that was not chosen by you as an individual. It may be at this point, and because of the success that they have had, the aims of their family in first starting to train the girls and the aims of the individuals, are inseparable. Perhaps my impression is wrong that this lifechoice was imposed on them and not a free choice. But my ideal “great work” would be a choice.
Fiona – that’s a good point. In the interview I read, Serena was very clear about not being forced into things by her father … but I suspect you need to read that with a grain of salt. I like and agree with what you say about making it a choice
Sometimes I feel there is too many rules.
Once upon a time there was a kingdom in hard time. King called for help. A knight arrived and said: “Here I am what are rules?”
“Turn your horse and stand by me.”