Assuming positive intent
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This recent post by Seth “Does he ever run out of smart things to say?” Godin reminded me of this powerful (self) management principle:
Assume positive intent.
What that means is when you’re irritated, annoyed, frustrated and generally want to sigh in deep exasperation about another person… take a breath, remind yourself that they are human (however contrary the evidence seems!), and assume that they’re operating from a place of trying to do good rather than not.
It’s one of those “I took the path less travelled by/and that has made all the difference” moments.
If you’re stuck and seeing the other person as an irritant, then your confirmation bias will identify and interpret all actions as on-going irritations.
If you’re open to see their positive intent, then you see them as attempting, however poorly, to do something positive.
It’s a way to reconnect to Martin Buber’s I/Thou state of being, rather than falling back to a less human I/It way of seeing the world and in particular that person.
This isn’t an easy thing to do, by the way. But it’s a powerful tool, and one worth practicing.
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I love your insight “Assuming positive intent” and I like the way Paul put it;
Romans 12:2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God