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In This Issue: July 2006
"This is a Recording..."
 This
month, I have been
recording the CD which explains how to use Get Unstuck & Get
Going, part of the upgraded programs that
we launched last week.
It took me quite
a few goes to get
it right.
The first time,
it sounded like I
was dull, colourless
and boring, a droning
monotone certain
to put people to
sleep.
The second time,
I got into hysterical-selling
mode and sounded
like one of those
over-enthusiastic
presenters on the
Shopping Channel.
Third time I got
all breathy and intimate
- and just a little
too close to sounding
like an obscene phone
call.
And then, finally,
I got it right and
found my voice: casual
and welcoming, informative
and relaxed. (So,
actually, how I speak
most of the time).
Have you found your
voice? In the main
article, Finding
Your Voice, I'm looking
at what stops us
speaking in our authentic
voice - and how to
rediscover that state.
Know anyone who's
not talking straight?
Please forward Outside
the Lines (in its
entirety please)
to anyone you think
might be interested.
This community grows
with your help.
I'd be delighted if you should wish to
reprint (for free) any part of Outside
the Lines in your newsletters, websites,
and message boards.
Contact me at
michael@boxofcrayons.biz for
further details.
Michael
Bungay Stanier
Principal, Box of
Crayons
Don't Take My Word For It
Reflections on finding - and keeping - your voice.
"A loud voice cannot compete with a clear voice, even if it's a whisper."
Barry Neil Kaufman, teacher
"The voice is a second face."
Gerard Bauer, writer
"Partnership does not mean that you always get what you want. It means
you may lose your argument, but you never lose your voice."
Peter Block, business writer
"From stumbling upon my voice came a system, a security, a net, that
I could fall into and do something that I really think was unique to me."
Shawn Colvin, singer
"Lower your voice and strengthen your argument."
Lebanese proverb
"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer
"My God! Is that my voice?"
Henry Irving, writer
"I don't really like using my own voice."
Jane Horrocks, actor
Finding Your Voice
Now I've become part of the speaking profession, I've become increasingly
curious as to how "the best of the best" perform.
As I watch and listen to these maestros, I'm almost doing it with
my ears shut. What I'm interested in is not so much the content
of what they're saying - although that's interesting too - but
the way in which they communicate. What's their tone? What's their
style? How do they use their bodies? What impact are they having?
(And secretly, is there any magic formula I can steal?)
The answer is that there IS a magic formula - and the formula
is that they have found their own natural way of presenting, their
authentic voice. It's different for each person ... and you can
see what I mean right
here.
These are three bona fide business gurus - Seth Godin, Tom Peters
and Guy Kawasaki. Each one has found his own voice, crafted his
own style and built their presentation around it. The impact is
partly about the content, for sure. But what makes it powerful
is the authentic way they deliver it.
While it might be obvious that professional speakers need to find
their voice, the same is also true for all of us. We're all looking
to show up in the most authentic way we can.
I think finding a powerful and authentic voice comes from the
overlap of two elements:
- Who you are
- The context you're in
Two things make this a challenge.
First, not knowing who you are. Yes, that age old search seeking
out the essence of the complex, confusing and interesting person
you are. What's your style? What are your strengths? What do you
really stand for in this world? What's your natural way of doing
things, the way with least energy expended and most joy? And how
do you move, think, speak, dress, dance, breath, laugh, laugh,
love and live in a way that best expresses that?
Second, even when you do have a sense of who you are, circumstances
change and you may need to adjust your personal style to fit the
new context, to learn how to be in a new setting.
For instance, if you've recently been promoted, what's your voice
with this new level of responsibility? When working with new, senior
colleagues? Or with the new members of your team?
If you've moved to a new company, what's your voice in this new
corporate culture?
If you're in a new relationship, what does this "authentic
self" look like?
If you're running your own business and you need to start marketing
and selling yourself, what does that look like?
Of course, one of the big questions is "how much do I stick
to my guns and be who I am, and how much fine tuning should I do
to fit better into my new context?" And the answer is probably
something like "just enough." Just enough to make sure
you keep what's essential and just enough to make sure you adjust
to your new setting.
One of the strategies I've seen work most powerfully for people
moving into a new context is for them to become aware of the people
who are thriving in that new place.
Look for role models, and understand what are the non-negotiables
for success. For instance, when I review the Godin, Peters and
Kawasaki performances above, it's clear that what they have in
common is: a performance with some key messages; a sense of creating
presence, an awareness of their audience; and structure to their
work. These are the non-negotiables for delivering this work
As Thomas Jefferson put it, "In matters of principle, stand
like a rock. In matters of taste, swim with the current."
SOMETHING TO PRACTICE
There are many good resources to help you with the "who am
I?" side of the equation, and I've listed some of them below.
As a practice to look at now, I'm most curious about this overarching
question: What makes you lose your voice?
(And I'm not talking about singing along at a Metallica concert)
Spend some time with these questions and see what comes up:
- In what situations do you stay silent?
- In what situations do you struggle to find the right words?
- In what situations do you feel like you're speaking from an
old script?
- In what situations do you tell half truths?
- To whom do you defer? Who do you give the power to keep you
quiet?
WANT TO LEARN MORE? HERE ARE SOME USEFUL RESOURCES
Authentic Promotion, by Molly Gordon. See
below in the Market Place Product of the Month.
Presentation Zen. A blog I've recently discovered that
is filled with wisdom about how to become a powerful presenter.
An outstanding resource that not only features role models but
also gathers lots of practical tools - for instance, the best places
to find quotes (which incidentally I used to find the "voice" quotes
for this edition)
The Brand You 50 by Tom Peters. Peters often annoys me
to no end. But I find he sticks around in my head, and that tells
me something. He's certainly found his voice - and it comes across
in his books as much as his speaking. His symbol is "!" - and that
explains the ranting and the Over The Top approach. But I don't
doubt that it's authentic. This book shows you his style and shares
insights on finding your own style. [
buy: US UK ]
Impro by Keith Johnson. Johnson is considered the founding
father of Improv Comedy. I'm particularly struck by his use of
status. In any relationship, one person will be high status and
another low status. That's determined not by title, but by physical
presence. A classic example might be King Lear and the Fool, where
for much of the play, the King is low status. Insights about how
the stillness of your body influences your status are fascinating. [
buy: US CA UK
]
Is Your Genius at Work? by Dick Richards. Full of useful
exercises to help you determine what your genius might be. [
buy: US CA UK ]
Your Natural Way. A philosophy of learning devoted to finding
not "the best way" but rather your best way of getting
things done. It's initial product is helping coaches find clients.
Comments? Feedback?
michael@boxofcrayons.biz
Market Place Product of the Month: Authentic
Promotion by Molly Gordon
The challenge of speaking "in your voice" is rarely
so great when we're trying to sell something - a product, a service,
ourselves.
Many of us fear the slippery slope that we imagine descends quickly
into sleazy, unethical, buy-buy-buy behaviour.
Molly Gordon tackles that head on, and for the small business
person she's provided a terrific solution in her Authentic Promotion
program. Learn to love marketing with Authentic Promotion! Visit
AuthenticPromotion.com for
further details.
It's a comprehensive resource that turns marketing and promotion
into a path of increasing self-awareness, authenticity, and right
livelihood. The program consists of a detailed text (182 pages)
and 12 recorded classes that show you how to achieve authentic
prosperity, taking you step by step through the new ways of thinking
and being, so you can promote your work with integrity and authenticity.
If you're trying to find your voice in how you sell yourself or
your products, this may be the resource you need. Even better,
it comes in four different formats (with four different price points)
to suit your style and your budget. Learn to love marketing with
Authentic Promotion! Visit
AuthenticPromotion.com for
further details.
Molly's also offering 3 additional mp3s at the moment for no extra
cost - you can check them
out here.
PS - Molly's a friend, and I'm an affiliate for her products.
And I'm happy to tell you that, because I stand behind her and
everything I mention in my newsletters and my websites.
PPS - Molly's also one of my conspirators on our panel at the
ICF Conference in St Louis in November. We're addressing "The
Five Unspeakable Truths About Coaching That None Dare Acknowledge." Curious?
You can find
out more here.
What On Earth Do I Actually Do?
I know I mentioned in the last Outside the
Lines, but I'm going
to take the liberty to spell it out again this month.
Box of Crayons works with organizations, teams and individuals
to help them move from doing Good Work to doing Great Work. My
team and I bring together experience and wisdom on organization
change, innovation, strategic planning and coaching. You can find
out more here.
My Great Work right now is helping companies take the power of
coaching deeper, wider and more cost effectively into their organizations.
We're using a combination of unique tools, a different approach
to training and wisdom about change to create the right approach
for a range of different organization cultures. If you're curious
and would like to learn more, drop me a line at
Michael@boxofcrayons.biz.
Interior Decoration For Slackers
I was enjoying an afternoon with a friend the other week who
has a gift for creating beautiful, modern spaces in the houses
in which she lives. She's just sold her house and bought another,
and we were looking through a paint guide, filled with shades of
colour with slightly pretentious names.
Inspired by that, I've created two colour palates of my own (hey,
my company is called Box of Crayons after all).
The Pessimists' Colour
Palate with such shades as "despair" and "bleak."
The Slackers' Colour
Palate including such classics as "burp" and "sofa."
Got it Going On
I'm speaking to the public just once in July, in Portland. You
can see what I'll be speaking about
here. But things get going again
after August, and I'll be in Calgary
and Michigan in October.
My next open Get Unstuck & Get Going teleforum is on
Wednesday July 19 at 2pm EST - you
can register here.
As you might be able to guess, I love to speak and run workshops
or teleforums for groups!
Read more about the keynote
and workshop topics I
offer in this
PDF.
'The Scribbler'
Look for the next edition in your
Inbox on Thursday, July 20 with guest
writers Mark Dowds and Dick Cappon.
Michael Bungay Stanier is the Principal of Box of Crayons, a company
that works with organizations, teams and individuals to help them
move from doing Good Work to doing Great Work. He is the author
of Get
Unstuck & Get
Going ...on the stuff that matters, a
coaching program and tool endorsed by leaders in the coaching and
training professions, and creator of The
Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun, a movie that's taken the internet
by storm. He is the 2006 Canadian Coach of the Year. You can find
out more at www.boxofcrayons.biz or you can contact him directly
at Michael@boxofcrayons.biz or +1 (416) 532-1322.
To subscribe to Outside the Lines & The
Scribbler click
here. If you have any trouble accessing
the form, send an email to subs@BoxofCrayons.biz.
Outside the Lines is distributed on the
2nd Thursday of every month. The
Scribbler is distributed on the 4th Thursday of every
month. Your contact information is never
traded, never rented, never sold.
©Box of Crayons 2006. Box of
Crayons is a registered trading name of
Maida CC Inc.
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