In This Issue: February 8, 2007

• Market Place Products of the Month:
  • No products this month - but you could...
  • Win an iPod or other cool stuff by telling me Yes or No to my ideas for new products
• "Don't Take My Word For It" captures what others say about the choice between Yes and No.
• In the main article, I'm inspired by my trip to Mumbai - and tell you why Yes and No were the secret to my success.
• Got It Going On: Where I'm speaking in the upcoming months, featuring Australia, Prague and Helsinki.
• The Book I Wished I'd Written: A new section featuring a cool book I've discovered - and secretly wished I'd written myself.

The Bombay Blues

In the days leading up to this week's trip to Mumbai (formerly known as Bombay), I was definitely out of sorts.

On the one hand, I was totally thrilled to be revisiting India. I'd last been there in 1990 and stayed in the north, New Delhi and Agra. I knew India had changed since then, and so too had I (for instance, it was unlikely now that I'd be mistaken for a woman, something that happened quite a lot in 1990 due to my long hair, earrings and hippie clothing).

On the other hand, I was in a state of heightened anxiety, all twitchy and nervous. I'd started imaging various disasters (you can read about catastrophizing here) and was getting tense, uptight - and certainly not in a place of joyful anticipation.

It came to a head on the flight over. I felt besieged by irritants: an uncomfortable seat, overhead lights that didn't work, the usual terrible movies, a group of babies that seemed to be doing shift work yelling and screaming, and my own head worrying over this and that.

And where's the fun in that?

So I used a technique that I've used before in everything from defining brands to managing my own behaviour. And I share it - and the results - in the main article.

Know anyone who's occasionally a little anxious? Please forward Outside the Lines (in its entirety please) to anyone you think might be interested. This community grows with your help.

Like to reprint any of my articles? Please do - details on how to go about it are at the end of the newsletter.

Michael Bungay Stanier
Principal, Box of Crayons

PS - don't forget to answer the short survey below for a chance to win an iPod and some cool other prizes

Market Place Products of the Month

Tell me Yes. Or No. And you could win an iPod and other great prizes

I've got a gazillion ideas for new products and services I'd like to create. In fact, it takes all my strength not to spend my whole time tinkering away coming up with new ideas.

I've been reviewing my list of top ten ideas - and I'm stuck. I don't know which one to do first.

So rather than trying to figure it out, I thought I'd ask you directly.

Spend a couple of minutes answering this quick survey, and you could win an iPod Shuffle, the award-winning Get Unstuck & Get Going Complete Program - or a $30 gift certificate for any product from my stores.

Answer the survey here.

Don't Take My Word For It

Smart folks thinking out loud about the power of Yes and No - and the choices you make.

"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."
Mahatma Gandhi, Indian political and spiritual leader

"Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn't have the power to say yes."
Eleanor Roosevelt, American humanitarian and author

"The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal."
Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher

"To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows. It's easy to say no, even if it means dying."
Jean Anouilh, French dramatist

"After the final no there comes a yes, and on that yes the future world depends."
Wallace Stevens, American poet

"Yes and no are the oldest and simplest words, but they require the most thought." Pythagoras, Greek mathematician and philosopher

"I only have 'yes' men around me, who needs 'no' men?"
Mae West, American actress

Say Yes. And say No

Perhaps the best known symbol of Mumbai is The Gateway of India. Built in the early 20th Century to commemorate a visit by King George V, it also marked the passing of British colonial rule - in 1948 the final British troops marched off Indian land for good.

It's a magnificent building, both literally and also symbolically as a threshold, a line in the sand where people must make a choice about stepping from one world into another.

When travelling to India, I came face to face with a psychological threshold of my own.

For all the excitement I was feeling about the trip, I realised I was taking on one of my least favourite personae: The Uptight Traveller.

When travelling - and particularly when stepping into an unknown situation that I can't control - I start to take on a range of ways of thinking and behaviours to try and exert control as much as possible.

Which is fine, except of course that
1. I couldn't control very much anyway and
2. these behaviours, this persona, only ever result in me not really enjoying my travels.

When I finally caught myself - it took a while - I used a simple tool to shake me out of my funk. It's based on the most powerful coaching question I know - What are you saying Yes to? What are you saying No to? - and it is called This/Not This.

Its brilliance lies in two things.

First, it forces you to make an explicit choice: both what you want and what you don't want.

Second, often you articulate that choice in metaphor, which enriches and makes more subtle the choices you are making.

So while on the plane to Mumbai I made my choices.

Here's the list. This, I decided, was how I wanted to be.

(As I look at it now, I realise it's a pretty good list in general, not just for that particular trip).

One of the reasons I've found it powerful in this case, is that it helps me tap into some of the fundamental emotions that are going on - fear, sadness, anxiety. By articulating them and owning them, I can then more easily chose the "This" rather than the "Not This" list.

You can use the same approach if you are thinking about your brand or the experience you're trying to provide in your work.

Here, using metaphor and imagery can be particularly powerful in helping to articulate and fine-tune the experience you're trying to create.

Here's a short selection for how I think of Outside the Lines.

(Feel free to write and tell me whether my projections meet your experience).

SOMETHING TO PRACTICE

Practice using the tool.

Think of an upcoming situation - a meeting, dinner with the family, a date - where you want to be your best, want to "turn up the volume"

Create your list and sit with it. And practice the "being" described in the left hand column.

WANT TO LEARN MORE? HERE ARE SOME USEFUL RESOURCES

If you'd like to learn more about choice - and taking full responsibility for the choices you are making - you can start with the existential philosophers... but a slightly easier way in is Block & Koestenbaum's Freedom and Accountability at Work.

If you'd like to learn more about branding, a good starting point is Adam Morgan's Eat the Big Fish. The examples are getting a little dated, but the core principles he espouses (which often come down to "Say No. Say Yes") still hold strong.

Comments? Feedback?
michael@boxofcrayons.biz

Got It Going On

This month

The next open and free Get Unstuck & Get Going teleforum is on Wednesday, February 21 at 2pm EST. I'll be speaking on how to get smarter and clearer about any challenge you're taking on. Sign up here.

March

I'm coming to Australia in March to see family and friends and to meet old and new clients. I'll also run some workshops for the local coaching chapters. I have chosen as my topic "Be Different - or Be Dead: 12 levers to differentiate your practice." Save these dates:

• Melbourne, Australia March 13 - See details here.
• Canberra, Australia: March 20
• Sydney, Australia: March 28 - See details here.

May

• Mind Camp Taster - May 26. Topic to be determined, but the location will be in the Greater Toronto Area and it will be fun and funky.

June

• Prague Coach Conference. I have the pleasure and honour of returning to Prague this year to host their conference. June 6. See details here.
• European Coach Conference, Helsinki. I'll be presenting two different workshops, one hugely practical, one slightly philosophical. June 7-9. See details here.
  

Curious how I might be able to liven up your team, conference or organization? Check out some of my most popular speaking topics here.

The Book I Wished I'd Written

Any parents out there will know that The Hungry Caterpillar is a classic of children's literature. When I cast my mind back, this is one of the very first books I remember.

What's so brilliant is its simple interactivity. Not only do you get a story in a few short pages, but by boring a hole through each of the pages (the path the caterpillar's hunger took her), you get a full on interactive drama.

Media theorist Marshall McLuhan termed a phrase for it: "the medium is the message" and while he might have been talking about more sophisticated media, this is a great example.

The Hungry Caterpillar has a brilliance of design equal to anything Apple ever designed (and it lasts much longer than when your baby chews your iPod too).

You can check it out here.

Michael Bungay Stanier is the Principal of Box of Crayons, a company that works with organizations, teams and individuals to help do less Good Work and more Great Work.

He is the author of Get Unstuck & Get Going ...on the stuff that matters, a coaching program and tool endorsed by leaders in the coaching and training professions, and creator of The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun, a movie that's taken the internet by storm.

Michael is a popular keynote speaker and was the 2006 Canadian Coach of the Year and a Rhodes Scholar. You can find out more at www.boxofcrayons.biz or you can contact him directly at Michael@boxofcrayons.biz or +1 (416) 532-1322.

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©Box of Crayons 2007. Box of Crayons is a registered trading name of Maida CC Inc.

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