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In This Issue: August 9, 2007
- What Stops Coaching from Flourishing? Got opinions on what gets in the way of coaching really working in your organization? I'd like to hear them - please take five minutes to answer my survey.
- I've Got the Proof We're always looking for evidence. So where do you find proof? And what's gunpowder got to do with it?
- Great Work Teleforum I'm holding a free teleforum on Thursday, September 6th. You can register for it now, as well as find out about other cool places where I'm running public workshops.
- Market Place Product of the Month I’m moving offices – and REALLY don’t want to hump stuff from one place to another. I'm re-offering a couple of great specials until August 16th, to help reduce my heavy load (and to give you a great bargain or two).
 Warm wishes,
Michael Bungay Stanier
Principal, Box of Crayons
PS - Know anyone looking for evidence? Please forward Outside the Lines to anyone you think might be interested.
What Stops Coaching from Flourishing?
I'm presenting
a workshop called "Coaching 2.0" at
the OD Network Conference in Baltimore in October and I need your help.
In the workshop, I will explore what allows coaching to REALLY flourish in organizations.
To do that, I want to understand the barriers that stop coaching from having the impact it might.
If you work in an
organization, or
provide coaching
to an organization,
I’d greatly
appreciate you taking
5 minutes (or less)
to complete this
quick survey on coaching
in organizations. You can take the survey now
As a thank you, I'll happily send you (if you wish) the results of this survey AND the handouts from the conference.
You can access the survey here
Many thanks to the 400+ people who've answered the survey to date-I'm very grateful for your support.
I've Got the Proof
It's a hot and sticky summer here in Toronto and one of the ways I beat the heat is by sipping a gin and tonic (ideally Hendricks Gin, the funkiest gin in the world)
It's 44% alcohol - or 88 proof.
Proof originally referred to “gunpowder proof”. Distillers "proved" that their whiskey was strong enough was by mixing equal parts of whisky and gunpowder and then setting the mixture on fire.
What colour’s your flame?
A slow, yellow flame meant the spirit was too strong, while a steady blue flame "proved" it was good whisky. Yellow flame spirits were diluted with water until they burned blue.
Later, whisky that burned blue was found to be 50 percent alcohol. This level was considered to be 100 percent proved – in other words, 100 proof.
You find what you’re looking for.
The colour of a flame is all well and good. But for most things in our lives, we don’t have anything quite as reliable to help us find proof.
In fact, we’re all hampered by a “confirmation bias” – that is, we look for and find what we want to find (typically, what confirms our biases) and we ignore that which doesn’t.
So often it’s not the quality of evidence that matters – it’s the frameworks we have established in our own minds that makes the difference.
So what’s true?
A useful way to tease apart a situation to find out what’s true is to do the following.
In any situation, separate out four different components [I’ve added a “case study” to bring it to life…]
Data: The facts, and just the facts.
- After dinner you asked me to wash up the dinner plates. I washed up the plates an hour later, after my TV program ended. You told me “you took too long.”
Judgments: Our interpretation
of the facts. Often
there are judgments
about the people
involved (you, them,
others) and the situation
overall.
- You’re obsessed about keeping the house clean. You won’t let me relax. You think your priorities are more important than mine. I’m probably lazy and not very considerate at times. This relationship is getting snagged on stuff that doesn’t matter.
Feelings: The five core feelings are: mad, glad, sad, ashamed, afraid.
- I’m angry (that you’re nagging me), ashamed (that I let you down again) and afraid (that this is an on-going pattern in our relationship).
Wants: What do you want from this situation?
- I want you to trust me to keep my promise. I want you to give me a little slack. I want you to be happy
You don’t need
to share all of this,
although sometimes
that can help. But
this process helps
you get a broader
perspective on what’s
going on – and
to uncover some of
your own biases. This
is useful, because
typically what happens
is this:
Data and Judgment gets blended and is presented as fact.
Feelings don’t get acknowledged (by anyone in the room) – even though they “leak out” all over the place.
Wants: People aren’t clear on what they want… and even if they are, they rarely ask for what they want.
Want to learn more? Here are some useful resources
Leadership and Self-Deception,
The Arbinger Institute. In one of the few cases where the parable style of writing actually works, this book does a marvelous job at explaining how we can twist ourselves up in finding proof of our virtue and others’ poor behaviour. If
you ever find yourself
feeling righteously
indignant about
people and with
a dash of the martyr
(I do all the time),
then this book
will open up new
insights.
The Answer to How is Yes,
Peter Block. Block points out that the two dominant archetypes of “what matters” in Western society is the economist and the engineer. Both archetypes look for certainty in measurement. What
then, Block asks,
about such things
as love?
Wikipedia on Confirmation Bias
Don't take my word for it
Smart folks thinking out loud about the proof:
"A
proof is a proof.
What kind of a
proof? It's a proof.
A proof is a proof.
And when you have
a good proof, it's
because it's proven."
- Jean Chretien.
former Prime Minister of Canada
"Faith is an island in the setting sun, but proof is the bottom line for
everyone."
- Paul Simon, American
singer
"Refusal to believe until proof is given is a rational position; denial
of all outside of our own limited experience is absurd."
- Annie Besant,
British philosopher
"Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without
any proof."
- Ashley Montagu,
English scientist
"Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact."
- Martha Beck, American
sociologist
"Love is the total absence of fear. Love asks no questions. Its natural
state is one of extension and expansion, not comparison and measurement."
- Gerald Jampolsky,
American psychologist
"Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry
is just the ash."
- Leonard Cohen,
Canadian poet
Great Work Teleforum
On Thursday, September 6th at noon EST time, Nicki Weiss of SalesWise and I are holding a free teleforum on “Less Good Work, More Great Work.” We’ve only got 150 lines – so first in, first served. You can register here.
We’ll be looking at just what the difference is between Good Work and Great Work… and three things you can do to increase the amount of Great Work in your life.
Register here
This is a free teleforum. The only information you need to fill out on the form is your contact info which is marked with an asterix.
Market Place Product of the Month
Box of Crayons is moving offices at the end of this month - boxes are being packed even as you read this...
I've moved 17 times in the last 15 years, and I am well and truly sick and tired of putting books in boxes.
I am running out of Get Unstuck & Get Going ...on the stuff that matters which is a good thing, more people get unstuck and less boxes for me to pack. and
And so I am re-offering the two specials offered in the last edition of Outside the Lines. This offer ends Tuesday, August 14th.
1. Upgrade
Have you ever had an upgrade from Economy to Business Class on a flight? I have once, and it feels like an incredible treat, a step into a little bit of luxury.
I can’t provide free champagne on take off, but I can offer you a different upgrade…
Buy the Get Unstuck & Get Going Core Program, and we’ll “bump you up” you for free to the Complete Program for free (that’s a jump from $90 value to $135).
If you don’t yet know about Get Unstuck & Get Going, you can check it out here
But here are four facts you can consider:
It’s won four awards, 1 for design and 3 for being an outstanding self help book
Famous folk such as Anita Roddick of the Body Shop think it’s cool
It’s being made into a James Bond movie starring Daniel Craig
We have not had a single copy returned of the 3000 we’ve sold
(OK – one of those wasn’t true).
You can get the upgrade at this link only
2 Whipped Cream on top
There’s ice cream. And then there’s an ice cream sundae, with whipped cream, hot chocolate fudge topping and a cherry on top.
Buy the Get Unstuck & Get Going Complete Program, for $135 and we’ll add a free Fun Pack, all the best goodies from The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun – (You can see the Fun Pack in all in all its multi-coloured glory here)
That’s an added $40 bonus – and you can access this special at this link only
Remember, you can only access the specials through these two links:
Upgrade Get Unstuck from Core to Complete
Top up the Get Unstuck Complete with the Fun Pack
This offer is good until Tuesday, August 14, after which we’ve got to pack things up.
And I should add – we’re not reprinting Get Unstuck & Get Going, so these last copies are in fact the last copies.
Got It Going On: Michael's Speaking Gigs
There are some upcoming public workshops in Toronto, Baltimore and Italy. You can find out more here.
"The day was a huge success. My team felt invigorated with the new skills learned and found it extremely beneficial to practice the new techniques on a 'real life' example. Michael gave us some very practical tools and insights, but was also flexible and accommodating to the needs of the group. I have great confidence that my team will continue to apply the learning." -
Melissa Gasson, Director,
Kraft Canada.
Could I be of service to your organization? If you are responsible for booking speakers or organizing conferences, or know someone who is, find out more information here.
About Michael
Michael Bungay Stanier is the guy behind The Possibility Virus, an organization that provides products and services so people can have lives of fun, inspiration and action.
To learn more about his corporate offerings, see BoxOfCrayons.biz
You can find out more by contacting Michael directly at michael@boxofcrayons.biz or +1 (416) 532-1322.
Subscribe - To subscribe to Outside the Lines click here or go to PossibilityVirus.com.
Reprint - I'd be delighted if you should wish to reprint (for free) any part of Outside the Lines in your newsletters, websites, and message boards. Simply include the following attribution:
Michael Bungay Stanier is a professional keynote speaker, the author of the best selling coaching tool, Get Unstuck & Get Going ...on the stuff that matters and the creator of Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun. A certified coach and Rhodes Scholar, he works with teams and organizations to help them do less Good Work and more Great Work.
Schedule - Outside the Lines is distributed on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of every month. Your contact information is never traded, never rented, never sold.
I send out an extra email one to three times a month detailing programs and offers.
©Box of Crayons 2007. Box of Crayons is a registered trading name of Maida CC Inc.
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