Outside the Lines - Michael Bungay Stanier

I wasn’t expecting THAT!
Today’s common understanding of "catastrophe" - a sudden disaster - is not the word’s original meaning. It first meant “a reversal of what is expected”, something altogether more broad, more benign and perhaps more useful (you’ll see the connection with words like “apostrophe”, whose etymology means in effect "a turning point”). The extension of its meaning to "sudden disaster" was first recorded in 1748, some 200 years after the first use of the word.

In this newsletter, I’m exploring the concept of catastrophizing, a concept that was popularized by Dr Albert Ellis as part of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.

Know anyone who’s had things happen that they weren’t expecting? Please forward Outside the Lines (in its entirety please) to anyone you think might be interested. This community grows with your help. As a thank you, I'll donate 10 cents for every subscriber to the Nature Conservancy of Canada. You can check out the great work they do at www.natureconservancy.ca.

I'd be delighted if you should wish to reprint (for free) any part of Outside the Lines in your newsletters, websites and message boards. Contact me at Michael@BoxOfCrayons.biz for further details.

Michael Bungay Stanier
Principal, Box of Crayons

Don't take my word for it

"I’ve had a lot of problems in my life and most of them never happened."
Mark Twain, 19th Century American writer

"Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results."
Anon

"He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator."
Francis Bacon, Renaissance author and courtier

“True stability results when presumed order and presumed disorder are balanced. A truly stable system expects the unexpected, is prepared to be disrupted, waits to be transformed.”
Tom Robbins, contemporary American novelist

This type of thinking has been labelled “catastrophizing”, and is symptomatic of a way of seeing the world that sees the bad that happens to you as part of a pervasive and ubiquitous tide of pain and evil that happens to everyone, everywhere. The term was made popular by Ellis and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (RBET), a form of cognitive therapy.

Cognitive therapists believe that, basically, to get better you need to start thinking differently. And the bottom line in explaining RBET is, as my friend Anton eloquently puts it, “the world’s not fair. Deal with it.”

SOMETHING TO PRACTICE

Here are three different ways to address your own moments of catastrophizing

On a physical level
This is a technique that I’ve stolen from Benjamin Zander. Stand up, throw your arms in the air, and declare out loud “How fascinating!”. This is effective because it shifts your physical state, it points to how seriously you’re taking everything (and suggests you lighten up!), and it frames the situation as a learning moment

On an intellectual level
Write down the whole catastrophizing process – like the example I’ve written out above. Then, for each of the different steps, estimate the odds of that actually happening to you. For instance, in the example above, “she might be angry with me” might have a 20% (0.20) chance of happening, “she’d put me on nothing but bad projects” might have a 3% (0.03) chance of happening, and so on. You can then estimate the actual chance of the final catastrophe happening by multiplying together the various percentages (for instance, 0.20 x 0.03 x …).

An alternative exercise is the circle of concern/circle of influence from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits… .

On an emotional level
This is a technique stolen from Kate Byron’s The Work. She asks just four questions that help get to the emotional truth of a stressful belief. The questions are:

The final part of the exercise is to then turn the thought around. You can find more detail on this approach on Byron’s website (see below).

WANT TO LEARN MORE? HERE ARE SOME USEFUL CATASTROPHIC RESOURCES

Benjamin Zander & Rosamund Stone Zander, The Art of Possibility [Canada US UK]

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – particularly Habit 1 (Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence) [Canada US UK]

Kate Byron & Stephen Mitchell, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life [Canada US UK] See also http://www.thework.com/FourQuestions.asp - Byron sets out a short facilitation guide to show in more depth how you can use these four questions.

Albert Ellis, How to Control Your Anxiety Before It Controls You [Canada US UK]

Comments? Feedback?
Michael@BoxOfCrayons.biz

Get Unstuck & Get Going

First, the official publication date has been set: September 14th. That date marks four years since I crossed the border and came to live in Canada, and setting Get Unstuck’s publication date for that time seems an appropriate celebration.

Second, I’ll be releasing the first 500 copies of Get Unstuck & Get Going as a “hot off the press” pre-publication special on June 14th. Here’s why you should consider snapping up one of these special edition copies:

To make sure you don’t miss out, register for notification of the pre-publication special going “live” at www.GetUnstuckAndGetGoing.com.

Just a reminder of what some people are saying about Get Unstuck & Get Going:

People love that this tool combines the deepest principles of creativity and coaching, and it's a source of infinitely renewable possibilities. Because of its unique structure, you can generate 125,000 different possible perspectives with this book to any challenge you might have - and then work through the Action Acceleration(TM) Sheet to commit to doing something about it.

What exactly do I do?

I’ve recently redesigned my website so that it’s more explicit as to how I help organizations, teams and individuals get unstuck and get going on stuff that matters.

If you’re curious as to what I actually do when I’m not penning Outside the Lines, check out www.BoxOfCrayons.biz

Running against cancer

I'm supporting the Canadian Cancer Society Relay For Life on June 24. It involves teams of 10 people who take turns walking, running or strolling around a track to raise money to support the work of the Canadian Cancer Society. It's a night of fun, friendship and fundraising to beat cancer. If you'd like to pledge some money to support this worthy cause, you can donate at my fundraising page here (you will need to enter my name in the "Search for Participants" box). Any size donation is very welcome and gratefully received.

Norway beckons

The European ICF Conference in Tønsberg, Norway runs from May 19th to 22nd. I'll be speaking on the eleven levers coaches can use to make their business model really zing. If you're interested in hearing what Hendrick's' Gin, Prince, McDonald's, easyHotel.com and the Lakewood Church of Texas have in common, this is the workshop for you. Check out the conference site here.

Michael Bungay Stanier helps people, teams and organizations to get unstuck and get going on the stuff that matters. You can find out more at www.boxofcrayons.biz or you can contact him directly at Michael@BoxOfCrayons.biz or +1 (416) 532-1322.

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