In
This Issue: Jan '05
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My New
Year's resolution? To stop
making New Year's resolutions. Three reasons why.
First, they rarely "accentuate the positive" (lose
weight = I’m fat; exercise more = I’m unfit;
more time with friends = I’m selfish).
Second, they're nearly always predictably mundane – about
just tweaking the life we’ve already got rather
than being bold and going for greatness.
And finally – and no coincidence here – they
rarely seem to stick (Hence: "my New Year’s
resolution is to still have an active New Year’s
resolution by January 10th …"). Enough!
Let’s get some zip and some zest into 2005!
Anyone else you know who needs
more zip in their life? Please forward Outside
the Lines (in its entirety please) to
anyone you think might be interested. This community
grows with your help. As a thank you, I’ll
donate 10 cents for every subscriber to the Nature
Conservancy of Canada. You
can check out the great work they do at www.natureconservancy.ca.
Michael Bungay Stanier
Principal, Box of Crayons
Bored by
your New Year’s resolution?
Let's see... Outside the Lines comes
out every month on the second Thursday... so by the
time you read this, it's a fair bet that your New Year's
resolutions have probably slipped away, been downgraded,
been forgotten.
It's a familiar sensation. How
do you feel about that? Remarkably un-upset? It
seems that for most of us, the New Year's resolution
is little more than a self-created stick you can
use to beat yourself up with when, inevitably,
you fail to deliver.
I think it's because so many
resolutions are the same old list. THIS TIME I'll
start exercising, stop smoking, lose weight, talk
more with those I love, spend less time with those
I don't actually like... It's not that these are
bad - they're all very worthwhile, very noble.
It's just that they're stale and tired. Not only
have you had that resolution before, you've probably
had it playing in the background of your mind throughout
the year ("lose weight"... "still
haven't lost weight" ... "still haven't
lost weight" ... "still haven't lost
weight" ...). On January 1, you just get to
rub it in.
So let me offer you two different
routes to get some oomph into your New Year's Resolutions.
Do at least one. Even better, do both.
Much of this is to
do with creating a "positive ritual" in
your life. I discovered this concept
in The
Power of Full Engagement. Here
they argue that as human beings we
have only a small reservoir of conscious
will and "in
contrast to will and discipline,
which imply pushing ourselves to
action, a well-defined ritual pulls
us."
Here are 7 steps for success:
- Pick
just one challenge
you want to tackle.
- Make
sure it really
is important
to you. Not was
important 5 years
ago, and now
you're still
trying to solve
it out of habit.
Not important
to someone else,
and you feel
guilty and obliged
to take it on.
- State
it using the
SMART formula:
- Specific (what is it?)
- Measurable (have you done it or not?)
- Achievable (can you actually do it?
- Relevant (do you want to do it?)
- Time-linked (when will you do it?)
- Focus
on the process
rather than the
outcome. In general,
you can't control
the outcome (e.g.
lose 40 lbs)
but you can control
the process (e.g.
stop eating sugar).
Make the process
about your behaviour.
- Set
up structures
that will support
you in sticking
to your resolution.
Change your environment.
Remove temptation.
Create commitments.
Generate carrots...
and sticks. And
above all else,
find ways to
keep reminding
yourself of your
goal - a note
in your purse,
a recurring note
on your pda's
to-do list, a
note on the bathroom
mirror...
- Set
up accountability
with someone.
The impact this
makes on whether
you'll get something
done is tremendous.
Here are some
statistics from
the American
Society of Training
and Development
and the probability
of successfully
completing a
goal:
- 10% if you hear an idea.
- 25% if you consciously decide to adopt it.
- 40% if you decide when you will do it.
- 50% if you plan how you will do it.
- 65% if you commit to someone else you will do it.
- 95% if you have a specific accountability appointment with the person to
whom you committed.
- When
you slip,
don't abandon
the goal. Be
gentle with
yourself,
and recommit
to the process
and tweak the
structures/accountability
to make
them work more
effectively
for you.
What's important
is building
this as a ritual.
That's
why scientists
have
discovered
it doesn't
really matter
which diet
you go on,
just so long
as you
go on it for
a year
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I'd love you to take on
something bold, daring and outrageous this
year.
Seek out something that
has you standing on the crossroad of excitement
and terror, that makes you ask "ooh... am I really
allowed to do this?" After all, in 30
years time you're not going to remember whether
you went to the gym 20 or 200 times. So step
out to the edges of your own boundaries, and
hang out there for a while! Here some ideas
to get you going...
Pick something outrageous! New
Science magazine recently
complied a list from eminent scientists
of 100 things to do before you die. Join
the 300 Club at the South Pole (Take
a sauna to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then
run naked to the pole in minus 100 F).
Touch a tiger (a live tiger!). Learn
Choctaw, a language with two past tenses
- one for giving information which is
definitely true, the other for passing
on material taken without checking from
someone else.
What's the juvenile thing
to do? Hold a pyjama party? Launch a snowball
attack on some unsuspecting neighbours? Do
a DVD-a-thon, and watch 15 films in a row?
Have a competition to see how many Smarties
you get in your mouth at once?
What's the thing you'll
do if you come into a windfall? Bathe in
champagne? Get that diamond set in your teeth.
Give it all to Tsunami relief fund (and check
those out here and here)?
Who's the one person you
want to cut out of your life? Who's the mysterious
stranger you'd like to get to know better?
What are 100 things it's
time to chuck out, give away? Not just the
trash, but the stuff that's meaningful...
and yet you know you'd be better off without
it.
What's the hard truth
you'll finally face up to? That you're in
a limiting relationship? That you play the
victim role with your boss? That you live
a life based in fear rather than bravery?
What's an act of pure,
mad excess? Get "full sleeve" tattoos
for both arms? Buy every flavour of Hagen
Dazs ice-cream. Eat nothing but pizza for
a week? |
"Get
Unstuck and Get
Going" is
my 90 minute
morning session
on Thursday February
3rd . It will
be held in downtown
Toronto, Here's
what it's about
(and you can
find out more here).
Do
any of these sound
familiar?
- You've
got too much
to do - and everything's
a priority.
- You're
doing what you've
been told to
do - but it's
not what needs
to be done.
- You've
got to get started
- but you're
not sure of the
first step.
- You
feel like you're
doing it all
on your own -
and the responsibility
is beginning
to tell.
You're
stuck! So how do
you get unstuck?
In
this invigorating
and interactive
session, you'll
uncover:
- What
keeps people
stuck and prevents
them from doing
the work that
matters.
- Three
powerful sources
of creativity
and wisdom, and
how to generate
possibilities.
- The
secret to getting
into action on
the work that
matters.
This
session gives you
the secret to having
your own coach "in
your pocket" -
24 hours a day.
By the end of this session you'll have clarity - and
a commitment to take action - on something that you
want to do.
There's
limited availability,
so sign up soon!
At $45 you get
a great continental
breakfast and a
boatload of useful
stuff. You can
register now at http://www.gtacoaches.com/icam/getunstuck.asp
The
local ICF chapter
has prepared a
fabulous range
of workshops so
that you can see
the many different
ways coaching is
making its way
out in to the world.
You can view the
various workshops
at http://coachingawareness.com.
I'd particularly
recommend two:
- Joanne
McLean and Laura
Macro are running
a morning workshop
on Friday February
18th on Get
Real and Lead
from There: A
Women's Leadership
Strategy.
They'll be working
with women leaders,
professionals
and entrepreneurs,
who are mid career
and want to make
a significant
shift in the
leadership of
their work and
life. Find out
more here.
- Sue
Edwards is running
a morning workshop
on Tuesday February
22nd on Clearing
the 90-day Hurdle:
Leveraging Coaching
to Support New
Leaders.
In it she'll
take the challenge
that 40 to 50%
of all new leaders
fail to meet
the expectations
of the new role
for which they
were recruited.
Find out more here.
More
than a birthday
I've recently notched up another birthday. The British
author Thomas Hardy had an interesting variation on
that, and noted that every year, another date passes
without recognition - the anniversary of our death.
His point was a simple one: if you knew the date when
you were going to die, what would you change in your
priorities?
What's
a challenge you're
facing right
now?
If you only had a month to tackle this challenge, what
would you do?
One week?
One day?
What would you do right now?
Get
Unstuck and Get Going - the book
Regular readers will know that I have a book coming
out later this year. Yes, I've changed its title to Get
Unstuck and Get Going. I've got good news,
bad news and good news...
The
first piece
of good news
is that I've
just received
some wonderful
pre-publication
praise
from Dame Anita
Roddick (the
founder of the
Body Shop)
and from Peter
Block, management
guru and author
of some amazing
books, amongst
them Flawless
Consulting and The
Answer
to How?
Is Yes.
"We
all need to
be doing stuff
that matters.
That might
be in the office,
at home or
elsewhere.
Unfortunately,
for many of
us it's easy
to get stuck.
There's too
much to do
and too little
support to
help do it. Get
Unstuck and
Get Going on
the Stuff that
Matters is
a terrific
solution. It's
not your typical "self-help" book.
The unique
format means
it's an infinite
resource that
combines wisdom
from around
the world with
powerful questions
to get you
going. It's
not just a
practical self-development
tool. It's
a powerful
call to get
going on work
that matters
- to you, to
our world."
Dame
Anita Roddick
Founder, The Body Shop
"You
have to
love this
book for
its format
alone,
let alone
its wisdom.
It shows
the impact
of great
design
and how
what is
profound
does not
have to
be obscure.
Plus there
is a quiet
political
message
in it that
coaching
is available
to all
of us and
is not
a profession,
but a way
of being
with each
other.
Buy the
book, give
it to people
you care
about,
and pick
it up when
you feel
lost, which
for most
of us,
is all
the time."
Peter
Block
Author, Flawless Consulting and The
Answer to How is Yes
What
Peter, Anita and
others like about
this book is that
it combines the
deepest principles
of creativity and
coaching, and it's
a source of infinitely
renewable possibilities.
Because of its
unique structure,
you can generate
125,000 different
possible perspectives
with this book
to any challenge
you might have
- and then work
through the Action
Acceleration(TM)
Sheet to commit
to doing something
about it.
The
bad news is that
the publication
date has been pushed
back from March
to May...
...but
the good news is
that means that
there will be more
opportunity for
some great pre-publications
specials and deals.
Pre-register now
at http://www.GetUnstuckAndGetGoing.com to
stay in the no-obligation
loop.
Creativity
Camp
The
long promised Creativity
Camp is on at the
amazing Drake Hotel
on Wednesday January
19th. (It's worth
attending just
for the morning
croissants). I'm
running the opening
session, which
will help set things
up for a great
day. Some of the
things we'll cover
are Great Work
vs Good Work, making
an Offering to
the Gods, and Harriet "Moses" Tubman.
Ian Hardy, the organizer, tells me that there are just
a few spots left. Check out the day's agenda and sign
up at http://www.creativitycamp.ca.
Teleclass
on Business
Models
Last month
I mentioned
I'd be launching
a teleclass
series on business
models. It's
on its way, I
promise! Stay
tuned for
further details.
Michael Bungay Stanier is a certified coach, consultant,
trainer and speaker. He works with people, teams and
organizations to step forward into possibilities, so
that they have more impact and have more fun. You can
find out all about it at www.boxofcrayons.biz or
you can just contact him directly at Michael@BoxOfCrayons.biz or
+1 (416) 532-1322.
Outside
the Lines is
distributed
on the 2nd
Thursday of
every month.
Subscr.be
at www.boxofcrayons.biz.
Your
contact information
is never traded,
never
rented, never
sold.
All writing (c) Box of Crayons 2005. Box of Crayons
is a registered trading name of Maida CC Inc.
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