In This Issue: June 2006

I suppose it's possible that you're unaware of the football/soccer World Cup at the moment - but I doubt it...

I enjoy watching some of the games, particularly in multi-cultural Toronto. Yesterday I had breakfast with some friends in "Little Portugal", one of Toronto's neighbourhoods, while the Portugal v. Iran game was aired. Both the coffee and the crowd were hot.

Toronto is full of national flags and replica shirts from all countries. Inspired by the passion the World Cup has generated, in this edition I'm also thinking about to whom and from whom I get support - and offer up some questions for you on the topic.

Also in this issue:

• Mark Silver, writing on why you SHOULDN'T embrace abundance thinking - but rather start exploring poverty consciousness.
• Kim George writing on why you SHOULDN'T set goals - but rather look at the Illusion of Certainty and the Illusion of Hope
• Product of the moment, featuring The Comfort Queen, Jen Louden
• "What's going on?": Michael's speaking schedule.

Introducing my guest writers

Every month in The Scribbler I feature two hand-selected articles from writers and thinkers I admire. You get a few paragraphs of each of my guest authors' articles, and the link if you'd like to read more.

This month, I'm delighted to feature two terrific authors, both of whom have refreshing takes on what it means to live a life of abundance (and it's not the usual wishy-washy, touchy-feely bumph)

Mark Silver is author of Unveiling the Heart of Your Business, a book that brings together the wisdom of a fourth-generation entrepreneur with that of a master Sufi teacher. It's a terrific combination of practical advice on how to create a business with an awareness about how an entrepreneur contributes to the world and to your own compassion. His article tweaks the nose of "abundance thinking" and directs us to the benefit of "poverty consciousness."

Kim George is one of the stalwarts of the coaching world. She was part of the CoachVille phenomenon, is the founder of the AQ Institute and has recently published an excellent book Coaching Into Greatness: 4 Steps to Success in Business and Life. This is one of the very few products that I've been willing to personally endorse, and I've done that because I really like her stand on abundance. It's beyond the "just wish for it" that much abundance thinking seems to boil down to, and actually grounds it in practical models and processes. She's writing about how much of our goal-setting processes don't in fact serve us very well.

Michael's quick scribble: Who are you supporting?

As an Australian, it's traditional to support two sporting teams: Australia; and any team that plays England. So at the moment I'm right behind the Socceroos, Sweden, Trinidad and Tobago and Paraguay.

But it's not all about sport. Here are three other areas of life where I give and get support - and some questions to help you think about the same.

1. Your family

Interactions with your family members are often the most habitual and least thought about. Decisions you made years ago about who would cook, clean, talk, listen, worry, plan, drive, play, save, spend, dream are now firmly fixed into a pattern. And so life goes on.

My wife and I book time together once every six months to sit down and throw it up all in the air to ask "is this what we want? Is this working for you? Is it working for me? What should we do differently?"

• Who needs more support from you in your family?
• What action would provide that?

• Whose support do you rely upon?
• Who are you taking for granted?
• How do you want to acknowledge and thank that person?

2. Your community

I'm very proud of my association with Addus, a Toronto non-profit organization that enables young adults with developmental disabilities to actively contribute and be a part of their community. Addus not only provides practical support for the participants - everything from learning to use public transport to job support for part time work - but they do it with a fierce belief that having a disability does not allow someone to "opt out", for the sake of not just the participant but for everyone in that community.

• What's important to you?
• What are you willing to make a stand on?
• What are you willing to get involved with?

• What are you willing to give?
• How would I know that you were a supporter?
  

3. Your work

I know that much of the success of Box of Crayons comes from outstanding support from people on the team. My web and SEO team, Kathryn and Charlotte. My designers, Christine and Minerva. My coach, Ernest. My "brain trust", Molly, Michele and Jen. My VP of Everything Else, Marcella. And that's just a start.

• Who can you offer increased support to in the work you do? Your customers? Your bosses? Your peers? Your team?
• Who would benefit most?

• Who can you ask for more support from?
• What do you want that you're not asking for?
• Who has influence or skills that would be of benefit?

"Why poverty consciousness is more effective than abundance thinking" by Mark Silver

Abundance consciousness is all the rage these days. And why shouldn't it be? You want your business to be abundant with cash, especially coming into the holiday seasons, when you want to be abundant in your giving as well.

It's always painful to me watching folks trying to reeeaaaacccchhhhh for an "abundance consciousness" and repeatedly fall short of it. What is this "abundance consciousness" anyway?

The most common way I've seen people try to reach for abundance, is through various techniques that usually boil down to trying to force yourself to believe that you really are okay. Except that you don't feel okay. You don't feel abundant. You don't feel happy, or confident, or sure.

If that's your experience, I urge you to leave 'abundance consciousness' in the dustbin, and settle back into the only thing that I've seen work consistently: cultivating a healthy poverty consciousness.

If you're curious about what 'poverty consciousness' is, read the rest of Mark's article here.

Product of the moment

Jen Louden is better known as The Comfort Queen, and she's particularly good at helping women get better at finding the balance they want in their lives.

But don't think it's all pastels and chocolate - Jen's got a mischievous sense of humour and is always willing to stir things up (In fact, she's thinking of changing her sobriquet to TAFKATCQ - The Artist Formerly Known as the Comfort Queen!)

Her first book, The Woman's Comfort Book, helps unpick the origins and meaning of romantic love and shows how a proper understanding of its psychological dynamics can revitalize our most important relationships. As she puts it, it's "body-and-soul sustenance to make the hard times easier and the good times better." You can find out more here.

You can also sign up for her newsletter The Self-Care Minder and you'll get an audio gift from her.

PS - Jen's a friend, and I'm an affiliate for her products. And I'm happy to tell you that, because I stand behind her and everything I mention in my newsletters and my websites.

PPS - If you like Jen's work, you might also be interested in a new on-line magazine for women, Girlphyte. I'm honoured to be featured in the inaugural edition, writing on the fine art of catastrophizing.

"Goals - The Hidden Feeder of Illusion" by Kim George

I've got a confession to make. I don't believe in goals.

There's nothing wrong with goals, per se. I just don't believe in taking goals at face value. Through my experience coaching hundreds of business people, there is a tipping point when goals become a source of scarcity.

You know. You've been there.

Maybe it was a job or a promotion. Maybe it was a person or a car or looking a certain way. Maybe it was that gazillion dollar lottery ticket - haven't we all fantasized about that one?

You know, holding onto something so bad that you can't see yourself living without it.
The bottom line is that we all want things. We even want life to be a certain way. Often we know what it takes to get what we want. But knowing and wanting it really bad aren't enough.

So why don't we get what we want? Why don't we do what we can do to get what we want? Goals can quickly become a ball and chain instead of the catalyst we long for them to be.

Find out how to manage the Illusion of Certainty and the Illusion of Hope here, in the rest of Kim's article.

You can buy Coaching Into Greatness: 4 Steps to Success in Business and Life here: CA US UK

What's going on?

My speaking tour is slowing up for the summer, but in the next little while I'll be in Minneapolis and Portland. You can see what I'll be speaking about here.

My next open Get Unstuck & Get Going teleforum is on Wednesday, July 19 at 2pm EST - you can register here.

As you might be able to guess, I love to speak or run workshops for groups! Read more about the keynote and workshop topics I offer in this PDF.

Michael Bungay Stanier is the Principal of Box of Crayons. Box of Crayons helps organizations and people shift from doing Good Work to doing Great Work.

Box of Crayons uses a range of tools and techniques - leadership coaching skills, creative and strategic facilitation, and coaching programs - to ensure leaders and managers are clear about the work that matters, are courageous about doing the work that matters, and are not wasting time on work that doesn't matter

Michael is the author of Get Unstuck & Get Going ...on the stuff that matters, a self-coaching tool endorsed by leaders in the coaching and training professions, and creator of The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun, a Flash movie that's taken the internet by storm. He is the 2006 Canadian Coach of the Year. You can find out more at www.boxofcrayons.biz or you can contact him directly at michael@boxofcrayons.biz or +1 (416) 532-1322.

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©Box of Crayons 2006. Box of Crayons is a registered trading name of Maida CC Inc.

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